Now, there’s a lot of things that look bad on paper. Acid is one of them. Not the fun LSD type of acid, that looks great, swirly patterns and that, no I’m talking about the ‘argh I’m melting’ type of acid.
Acid is bad TM
I think most of my scientific information about acid was transmitted to me at a tender age during the Grandma gets eaten by acid scene in Dantes Peak
I think theres a lot of things I have become scared of because I half heard something in the media and it sunk in.
I wont eat cooked rice more than 12 hours later because of heart parasites, which is something that I cannot find any information about online but I heard it on Radio 4. I have scared a few people with this misinformation now, I asked Google about it in hindsight and it said ‘this is definitely not a thing’.
Hungry acids
A facial practitioner told me how a treatment might tingle as the acids ‘munch away’ on dead skin, which reminded me of the pedicure fish I’ve seen in shopping centres.
Poor fish, imagine being condemned to a life of eating the skin off people’s sweaty feet. I’m sure we could find humans to do that – pedicure fish, stealing our foot guys’ jobs.
hallo i am a salon professional
Skincare on acid
I bought a cream with Alpha-Hydroxy Acids or AHAs, which is the sound you make after you leave them on your face for too long. AHAs are found in fruit. Lovely, natural, skin eating fruit.
After I downplayed the acid part, I explained to my partner how he needs to use suncream in the daytime if he uses this cream at night. He said, quite rightly, ‘so I need moisturiser for my moisturiser.’
This did make me think “hmm maybe burning your skin off is bad” but hey it looks good, so maybe we can use acid, as the occasional treat.
Mmm delicious acid
As my love of acid has blossomed I decided to get some powdered citric acid because this is powdered sour flavour and I love sour things.
Using white powders in your cooking always feels like a naughty, cheating thing to do. But as someone who doesn’t test my street drugs I say – in for a penny in for a pound.
I made some delicious jelly sweets with it and haven’t melted yet.
As for eating fun swirly type of acid, I am in the process of writing something about the psychedelic workbook on my other website, stupidmentalhealth.com so stay tuned into the Jojo verse for swirly updates 🔥
Apart from talking about melting, Jojo Chinaski is a comedian based in Bristol. Join the mailing list below to be updated on new Jojo content as it happens